Name: Patrick aka Salieri

Age: 25

Title: Jedi of the Outskirts

Hair: Nice -n- Thin

Jedi Master: Sondheim/Prince (Hal, not the Artist 'Formerly Known As')

Birthplace: Frankfort, KY

Jedi Salieri's first memories were of the tree-lined avenues of beautiful downtown Burbank, Ca. Having moved there before his brain had developed the persistence of memory, he can be forgiven. His childhood was filled with his parents' tales of strange terrain like "The Mid-West," and the slightly unbelievable fairy tale of a place called Manhattan. He soon realized that his parents had been trained in the Jedi tradition, but were in hiding.

His aspirations toward writing a kabuki musical of "It's A Wonderful Life" were soon dashed at a young age when he realized that the universe was not yet ready for such insight. Yet sources believe this may have been the first time he felt a tremor in the force, awakening his dormant powers. After years of training at the Jedi Academy for Show Choir, he found himself writing, directing, and performing on real stages. But all too soon the force grew strong (or maybe it was hormones), and he woke to the realization that for years Los Angeles had been populated by remnants of the Clone Wars. Afraid that his newfound discovery might put he and his family in danger, he fled to the happy havens of Ithaca.

There he met those whom history would one day call the Jedi of Astoria. After a year of sharing barracks with Jedi Kluv and 2shoes, with frequent visits from JedIrish, he thought that perhaps the Jedi life was too strenuous for him. However, he persevered and was soon promoted to the B.A. Hall of Fame, alongside Jedi Duck, as the two Jedi most sent into battle on the mainstage. It was only then that he truly felt at home among his peers.

After two years of torturous duty back on his home planet trying to rid the universe of clones, Jedi Outskirts almost succumbed to the dark side, but (can you see a pattern?) fled once more to the east, because there really IS safety in numbers.

At first, Salieri sought refuge on the edge of Jedi society, taking residence on a small but inexpensive moon called Wallington, New Jersey. When an old friend of his betrayed him to the Empire, he fled into the asteroid belt of the 'Hattan. When incredulously asked whether he was actually going into an asteroid field, his characteristic reply was: "They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?"

Jedi Salieri now fights the good fight in the belly of the worm. (Look for his new all-mime Musical: "Panties! Panties!! Panties!!!" coming soon to a theater near you . . . )

Salieri has a big, green Johnson(TM).